Motel
by ever6
Summary: Marissa's POV in the motel. "The Escape"


A/N - It's always good to hear what others think of my work, so thanks to all of you that read it and comment. It's very helpful and quite encouraging that you take the time to give your thoughts.  
  
~Motel~  
  
Marissa couldn't sleep. Her head ached from crying, and she was miles from the safety of her bedroom at home. Home. She tried to imagine what it was going to be like without her father there, and she wiped away new tears. Her father was the only buffer she had against her sharp-tongued mother, the queen of well placed, vaguely disguised jabs about Marissa's weight and looks. She could never please her mother, no matter how hard she tried. And the thought of her father living all alone in some apartment made her heart hurt. How would he get by on his own? And how would she? They needed each other. She stared at the motel room wall and felt utterly alone.  
  
She heard Ryan's breathing slow and become steady behind her. Of all the things that could happen, she had to end up trapped in a car, then hitchhiking, and finally in a bed with him. It had been an awkward day, to say the least. Thanks, Summer. Not to mention on the night she found out her parents were divorcing. He must have overheard her phone conversation, since he'd given her a very sincere "I'm sorry." She had felt his eyes on her as she wiped away tears, not looking at him, not wanting him to see her cry. She knew he was waiting to see if she needed him, and that he wanted to help. That was Ryan. He had put their own drama aside for her, but she couldn't face anyone right then. Thank God Seth and Summer were asleep. Mostly though, she couldn't face Ryan. Marissa wasn't sure that if she looked to him for support right now she could let go of him. Technically, the only reason she was with Luke now, was because she thought Ryan hadn't wanted her. Things were too confusing, she didn't trust her instincts, and she didn't want to chance hurting Ryan any more. When she stretched out on her side, still not looking at him, he had sighed, giving up and turning away from her over on his side of the bed. All this time, since opening that stupid door and seeing way more than she wanted to of him under the perfect half-dressed model, she had been incredibly hurt and disappointed that he had given up on them, on her. And wildly jealous, though she wouldn't admit to any of that. Until now. His admission that he thought she'd already chosen Luke was a surprise. That scenario had never occurred to her, but now that she thought about it, she could see how he came to that conclusion. She saw the flicker of surprise in his eyes when she'd set him straight. She had asked if he ever wondered why she came looking for him that night, and the emotion in his eyes and in those two words he'd leveled at her, "Every day", told her quite clearly what she really wanted to know. Yeah. He definitely cared about her. Now she just felt stupid. Couldn't all of this have been avoided somehow? She didn't trust any of the decisions she'd made lately. But like he'd pointed out, she was with Luke now. It was too late for second-guessing.  
  
She sighed deeply, wondering how every part of her life had become such chaos. Did she even want to be with Luke? And why couldn't she just go to sleep? She needed to sleep! Stop thinking! She was so tired.  
  
Ryan rolled over onto his back, and his shoulder pressed into her own. She started to pull away from him, decided she didn't want to and went back. In a moment, he continued his roll, molding himself to the back of her body and sliding an arm around her waist. Um, OK. She didn't know exactly how deal with this. Tense, not sure if he was awake, she softly spoke his name. "Ryan?"  
  
His only response was to sigh and bury his face in the back of her neck. Convinced he was asleep, she relaxed a little. This felt - God - so nice. Not just good, it felt - right. Yes. Lying here with Ryan wrapped around her was right, and everything else in this stupid world was wrong. Marissa mentally banished Luke's shadow from the motel room. Ryan's muscular arm tightened, pulling her even closer against his body. His warmth surrounded her and eased the ache she had deep inside. She felt safe for the first time in days, or weeks even, like she wasn't alone. She relaxed completely, and let herself roll back against his chest, leaning on his solid frame. She held her breath, waiting to see if her movement woke him. He responded only by feeling his way up past her elbow and covering her hand with his own. She closed her eyes and a small smile played on her mouth. He was really so sweet, even when not awake. Still smiling, finally at peace, Marissa drifted off to sleep. 


End file.
